Everything That Is ‘Film’

All Time Top 5 Reasons to (Re)Discover Jim Jarmusch’s “Night on Earth”

I just rewatched Jim Jarmusch’s Night on Earth and it is so great! Well, okay, it’s not his best work, but it’s a nice movie to sit at home and work while you’re sitting on your sofa, banging out blog entries on your BlackBerry. (Do I do that? Yeah, I do.) I actually saw Night on Earth when it came out in 1991 and was a wee youngster, and I fully admit I went to see it because of Winona Ryder, ’cause I luffed her so in the early 90s. (I still luff her, but it’s, you know, complicated.) But since then I’ve had half a lifetime of film school, so I didn’t even appreciate the movie’s full radness until now! Things I overlooked because I did not fully appreciate sunglasses, making love with my entire self or the Spiritually Scandinavian imperative in my life:

DUDE, THAT’S HEATHER #2 AS A CRANKY BAND MANAGER!

Night on Earth is really an omnibus like Coffee and Cigarettes — a series of vignettes around the world, here connected by conversations that take place in cabs. The film starts out in L.A. with a fantastic bit with metalheads on the way to the airport in a cab (driven by Winona Ryder!) Then they get out all drunken and spandexed and get yelled at by their band manager, who’s played by Heather #2 from “Heathers”! It’s such a great thing to discover in a movie!

(Heather #2′s at about 4:50 — plus, I love the dude’s purplish tie-dyed tank. They just don’t make hair metal dudes the same way anymore.)

WINONA RYDER WEARING TOO-BIG AVIATOR SUNGLASSES

I forget sometimes that Winona Ryder was so tomboyish in the 90s, but Night on Earth fully exploits it. I never really bought her as a cabbie who wants to be a mechanic but I love that she tried. I can’t really think of an actress now who’s so interested in deglamorizing herself now, except maybe Kristen Stewart, who I kind of love. But it’s still a real pleasure to see her in the L.A. segment, acting with Gena Rowlands, who I also did not fully appreciate back when I first saw it, not having yet seen A Woman Under the Influence (WONDERFUL) or Gloria (EVEN MORE WONDERFUL).

Winona, pretendin’ she’s scuzzy:

I’D FORGOTTEN HOW AWESOME OF AN ACTRESS BEATRICE DALLE IS

Sometimes I’m astonished there’s this whole generation of people who don’t really know Beatrice Dalle’s acting work. Back in the 80s and 90s, when you needed a hot French babe to play a ferocious, sexy, intense human, you would put her in a movie. She just burns up the screen in anything she’s in, ranging from Betty Blue where she played the ultimate psychotic girlfriend to cinematic history’s hottest cannibal ever in Trouble Every Day. In Night on Earth, she plays a blind woman who fascinates a cab driver and she’s so good, you see why someone wouldn’t be able to take their eyes off her. I loved the part when she talks about making love with her entire self: it’s so French-y. Me, I only make love with one-third of myself, and send the other two-thirds to do psychic errands while I’m otherwise preoccupied.

ROSIE PEREZ GIVES THE BEST “FUCK YOU” ON FILM EVER

I miss seeing Rosie Perez in movies. If the 90s are back, can we bring Rosie Perez back, too? Her fuck-you to Giancarlo Esposito in the NYC part of movie is so perfect, it’s like an object lesson in how to deliver a superb “FUCK YOU” to someone:

1. Act all coy and cute.
2. Wait for response.
3. “FUCK YOU!”
4. Sashay away.

It’s so good. You can see it here at the 3:20 point in the video. I can’t wait to do this to someone one day.

THE HELSINKI SEGMENT TRANSCENDS THE ENTIRE MOVIE

If only for the heartbreaking, subtle, completely utterly fantastic performance from the late great Finnish actor Matti Pellonpää, who appeared in a ton of Aki Kaurismaki films. (If you ever had a soft spot for Jarmusch films, you MUST SEE AKI KAURISMAKI MOVIES — they have a similar strange humor.) I remember thinking how utterly atypical this felt from the other parts of the film but being peculiarly moved by it. It has sort of a naked, serious emotion that didn’t really bubble back into Jarmusch’s work till perhaps Broken Flowers (which I’ll always love for the Tilda Swinton bits, even if it’s not really my favorite Jarmusch film). But now that I watched Night on Earth again, the Helsinki bit is one of my favorite parts, because I can really see and appreciate Jarmusch’s generosity with his actors. Matti Pellonpää just runs with it, and his story he tells at the end is so REAL and the pain is so honest that it makes me genuinely sad he’s no longer alive to grace us with more of his acting genius. Plus: Helsinki. I really need to go!

Now I’m on a “revisit Jim Jarmusch movies” jag. Which one should I revisit next?

Style Icon: Courtney Love as Big Pink in Basquiat

I would like to wear that dress and that scarf, and walk down the street while “Beast Of Burden” plays in the air, and get cutely sexually harrassed/offered a Big Mac by Jean-Michel Basquiat, and then have him take me to Lutèce.

Plus: those lips! Those legs. Courtney was so hot to trot in the late ’90s.

(pic via)

In An Alternate Universe, “Madonna in Suburbia” Would Totally Be My Spring Fashion Concept

And by “Madonna in Suburbia” I mean “Susan in Desperately Seeking Susan, the part where she reads Roberta’s diary.” Lace thigh-highs with garter + rolled-up boxers + wifebeater + button-down dress shirt is a bit much for me, and maybe for every other woman who’s not imaginary, but Madonna just makes it so trashy-adorable. Isn’t it weird to see her smoking? And I love how she’s got a bag of Chips Ahoy and a bag of Oreos on the bed, right after eating those cheese puffs by the pool. Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan: style icon, first-class snacker.

Look – it’s Arto Lindsay! “Blonde Redhead” by DNA is a cool song to listen to sometimes:

The “Dead End Justice” Scene From The Runaways Movie Is Such A Killer Rush

Did I ever tell you about the time Dakota Fanning waved excitedly at me and Cathy from the front seat of an SUV, outside at Runaways tribute show on Sunset Strip? She was so adorbs. And, god, just look at her sister’s glasses! It’s all too much.

But anyway, “Dead End Justice” is my fave Runaways song, of the five Runaways songs I actually know; it always gives me the chill bumps. I love when they rhyme “dusted” with “busted” and “board” with “sword,” I love the lyric “ALL THE PAIN THAT I FEEL MAKES ME FEEL MEAN.” And I really dig the choreography they’ve got going on here: such elegant headbanging!

You can watch The Runaways on Netflix right now, btdubs. You can and you should.

The nogoodforme Astrological Guide to Arthouse Cinema, Video Edition: Movies To Get Cancers In Touch With Their Inner Child

Last summer I started a series of posts on arthouse cinema, organized by astrological sign appreciation. I managed to do Aries, Taurus, and Gemini, and then I got busy with a novel and my other job as a writer/editor, not to mention daunted with the task of having to write 2,000+ words for each sign. TOO MUCH EPIC, GUYS! But I felt bad for shafting other signs of the zodiac family, who deserve good movie recommendations, too. One night I got to messing around with the video maker at Xtranormal as a late-night time-wasting-with-no-real-brain-commitment thing. (To quote Rebecca Black, “Fun, fun, fun, fun.“) Well, casting about for a “script” for the two “characters” in the “movie,” I dumped some old text notes I had been working on for Cancer and, lo and behold, amusement. So now you get to watch two crazy semi-psychedelic bears talk astrology and movies and being a Cancer. Take what you can get, bitches! (If you don’t want to watch the video, I put YouTube clips of the films mentioned below the jump, plus a few more recommendations of movies that help sensitive Cancers — of which I am one — get in touch with their inner child.)

Anyway, here are your Ebert and Roeper, kinda. If you wanna hear about Cancers, you better press play ’cause I ain’t gonna rewrite that isht out:

And here are the movies. They were all chosen with an eye for non-lame portrayals of children, and I think they do a great job of portraying the emotional life of kids without reducing them to sentimentality. (Although a lot of these kids are pretty fucking adorable. But you can describe many a Cancer as pretty fucking adorable, so there you go.)
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Heather Graham’s Character in License to Drive Was a Really Poor Role Model for My Preteen Self

Last night I rented License to Drive from Amazon.com, in protest of the fact that Corey Haim is dead and the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences doesn’t care. It’s a dumb/fun movie that I saw for the first time in a mall on Cape Cod when I was ten-years-old and Heather Graham was so cool and beautiful to me, the coolest and most beautiful girl in the world.

I loved this part:

See: It’s a Saturday night and Heather Graham (or, rather, “Mercedes Lane”) is glamorously bored, eating chocolate ice cream from the carton, reading many magazines, reading no magazines at all. “That’s what it will be like to be a teenager,” I realized upon watching the above scene for the first time. My teenage self would have impossibly long and toned legs and the most manageably voluminous tumble of curls; I could call up Corey Haim at 11:30 p.m. on a Saturday and he’d have no choice but to break curfew/the law and take me out. I would softly moan while spooning up my ice cream, which would be such good practice for adulthood, at which point I’d spend my days swimming in black bra + boxers and then eating cheese puffs and drinking red wine in the dappled sun.

Howevs, after last night’s viewing of License to Drive I now believe Mercedes Lane to be a horrible role model for my preteen self. It’s so gross, how she gets totally wasted on a bottle of champagne stolen from the El Rey, where she has that stupid faceoff with her 40-year-old boyfriend who’s from “Kuwait or Pakistan” but peppers his conversation with big fancy Italian phrases. And then she ends up like this:

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Did You Know That Mary Timony Is In A Really Adorable Short Film About Karaoke & Donuts & Love?

My best karaoke girl Laura Fisher found this yesterday, probably on this beautiful Tumblr that’s full of Mary Timony. It’s such a sweet little movie! I love the way Timony looks up and blinks while lighting her cigarette, and how cutely/shyly she takes her first bite of donut. She has a little bit of a lisp, huh? I never noticed that before. Lisps are my favorite.

I Have So Many Questions About The Limitless Trailer

1. Okay, first and foremost, DOES THIS MOVIE LOOK EVEN REMOTELY GOOD, OR DO I JUST REALLY LOVE “POWER” BY KANYE WEST? I seriously can’t tell, at all.

2. That part at the beginning, when Bradley Cooper says to the viewer “My excuse for looking like this? I’m a writer” – is that a thing? Do people generally regard writers as unwashed, disheveled creatures who style their hair like Bono in 1987? Is that what I look like?

3. Wait, doesn’t Bradley Cooper look 12 times hotter at the beginning of the trailer, compared to when he’s all cleaned up?

4. You know what expression I love? “You clean up real nice.” Will you say that to me someday?

5. Is Bradley Cooper an attractive human? I’m generally skeeved out by him, partly due to the fact that his skin is orange but mostly because his character in Wedding Crashers is so wildly loathsome. That’s always really bugged me about Wedding Crashers. Like, eww, Rachel McAdams, how did you ever end up with this dude when you’re obviously a totally reasonable woman and he’s apparently the worst person on the entire planet?

6. Speaking of Wedding Crashers, which coined the phrase “stage 5 clinger,” which the dudes say all the time on Jersey Shore, can you believe Pauly D brought the stalker girl back to the house last week? It was so cute when he put the “I Star-of-David Jewish Girls” shirt on. Oh I love Pauly D so much! Especially when he pronounces “refrigerator” as “fijarada” and when he says the thing about “roses, dawg, with pickles in ‘em! FRIED PICKLES!” If you don’t love Pauly D, you don’t love love is a rule I made up this morning while half-awake.

7. What kind of topping comes on an apology pizza? Fried pickles?

8. Oh, cool! You can renegotiate book advances?

9. Back to Kanye: Can you imagine how great 0:36 – 0:41 of “Monster” would sound live? It’s going to sound so good at Coachella. I’m not going to Coachella.

10. And finally – Portlandia‘s all right, huh? I really wanted to hate it. Damn you, Carrie Brownstein!!

Dude, The Sixties Were Crazy!!

If you can identify the song playing throughout this trailer, you’ll make me the happiest girl.

It’s bonkers, right? The trailer? I saw it the other night at New Beverly Cinema, at the Edgar Wright triple feature, which was so much fun!! Scott Pilgrim was adorbs and Shaun of the Dead: delightful as always. The middle movie was Hot Fuzz but we left to go get dinner at India’s Clay Oven and, dudes, I can’t say enough good shit about that place: bottles of really yummy malbec for TEN BUCKS, and my tofu coconut curry was deeeeeeeeeelish.

But anyway – they showed a bunch of trailers throughout the Edgar Wright-a-thon; apparently they were all selected by Quentin Tarantino himself. I love the Zabriskie Point one for the part about blowin’ mindz, and for the closing line (“How you get there depends on where you’re at”). But it’s not nearly as wild as this one, which played before Scott Pilgrim and features a very special guest star:

IT’S RINGO!!!! Ringo Starr is the guest starr. And I have no idea what’s going on in this movie at all but it seems possible that there’s a Ringo sex scene and I dunno know if I can deal with that, you know? I don’t know if I’ll ever accept Ringo as a sexual being; it just might not be in me. But it’s cool, when he screams “VIVA ZAPATA!!!!” and then “Magic Carpet Ride” starts playing. It feels like the start of something sleazy and grand.

Rise of the Kick-Ass Girl: I Cannot Wait to See Hanna! Sucker Punch, On the Other Hand…

A movie about a girl being trained as an assassin in the remote reaches of Finland by her ex-CIA father? A David Lynchian fairy tale with a nice splatter of action? That weird Plänterwald park in Berlin? Cate Blanchett? YES PLEASE! Hanna is directed by Joe Wright, the dude who did Atonement, Pride & Prejudice (featuring Keira Knightley and her odd mouth movements) and, um, The Soloist. Those are mostly “classy” pictures, but judging from that super-long tracking shot in Atonement, I bet Wright’s got some action-director juju inside of him. But he’s said that, despite the Chemical Brothers soundtrack and the frenetic quality of the trailer, the movie is much more influenced by Lynch and has a strange fairy tale quality. Whether or not that ends up to be true, the film’s cinematographer is Alwin Kuchler, who shot Morvern Callar, one of my favorite films, as well as Code 46, one of my favorite science fiction films in recent memory — so at least I know it’ll be visually stunning. Hanna also stars Saoirse Ronan in the title role, who was great in Atonement and the only good part in The Lovely Bones. Doesn’t she seem kind of menacing in the trailer? (I bet she’d make a great Katniss Everdeen in the upcoming adaptation of The Hunger Games.) I really do hope this portends a rise in girl assassin movies.

Speaking of kick-ass action girl movie stuff, have you seen the trailer for Sucker Punch? The movie’s by the dude who did 300 and Watchmen, so you know it has “fanboy” written all over it. You can also tell it’s “fanboy” by the persistent school girl costuming. And the Nazis. And the samurais. Rule number twenty-three: if it doesn’t have Nazis and/or samurai in it, it’s not “fanboy.” But it does have a heightened fairy tale quality, no?

Speaking of heightened fairy tales, let us now watch again the trailer for Red Riding Hood, directed by Catherine Hardwicke, which I’m totally going to see, despite the fact that quasi-period movies with mixed accents disconcert me. But put Fever Ray on the soundtrack and some (were)wolves in the woods, and I’m so there.

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