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Imaginary Shopping Spree: Nine-Year Old Boys Are The Ultimate "Effortless Chic" Icons

It's one of the weird Holy Grails of fashion to look like you don't try too hard, like you just wake up in the morning and grab some shit in the dark and still manage to look faaaabbbbuuulllooouuuusssss. The truth of the matter is that "effortless chic" is a lie, even if you are a Balenciaga muse and you never brush your hair. If you really want to look all "effortless" and "unstudied," you should be emulating the style of nine-year old little dudes! No one has ever accused a nine-year old boy of "trying too hard" when it comes to getting dressed. To judge from my own nine-year old nephew, he just tosses on whatever as fast as possible, shovels breakfast in his mouth and then rushes downstairs to play video games all day. His and his buddies' default fashion choice are jeans, high-tops and t-shirts that are hilariously "EXTREME!!!" in their graphic choices and font selections. Make sure your commitment to personal grooming is equally lackadaisical and be obsessed with playing Modern Warfare 2 as much as your mother will humanly let you and voila! Effortless chic, complete with effortless lifestyle!

Below, some boys t-shirts from Target. This is as much "fashion" as a nine-year old boy can stomach, plus kids' shirts are all cheap. (As a grown lady, I buy the larger sizes, which works for me, as I am not endowed with an ample bosom. If you can't cram your boobs into a kid-sized t-shirt, look for stuff with robots, dinosaurs, surfers, skaters or astronauts. Kiddos love astronauts. Or cram your boobs into an astronaut t-shirt anyway. I'm sure that works, too, on some level.)

This is my nephew Julian. T-shirt says it all!

Tags: astronauts, effortless chic is a lie, kids, Modern Warfare 2, nine-year olds, t-shirts

My Beauty Regimen, by Laura Jane Faulds

I'm just kidding! I don't have a beauty regimen. Truth be told, I barely even know what the word "regimen" means. I feel like it should be "regiment," but a "regiment" is actually "a military unit, composed of variable numbers of battalions, commanded by a Colonel." I don't have one of those, either.

Anyway, I have washed my hair with L'Oreal Kids Strawberry Smoothie shampoo every single day for the past three years of my life, but only recently has my hair grown long enough for me to smell it on myself. It smells so delicious and adorable and strawberryey. I am procrastinating going to bed right now, because I'm too busy smelling my own hair. It's lovely.

Tags: L'Oreal Kids Strawberry Smoothie shampoo, regimens, regiments

We're Obsessed: All The Beautiful Movie Posters at Janefondova.tumblr.com

This is my new favorite place, because everything there is beautiful, especially all the cool posters for movies I have or have not seen - like this German one, for Repulsion. Don Draper loves Catherine Deneuve.

+ Continue reading "We're Obsessed: All The Beautiful Movie Posters at Janefondova.tumblr.com"

Tags: Don Draper Loves Catherine Deneuve, Jane Fonda, posters, Tumblrs we love

Laura Jane Faulds is Hot for the Alphabet

One week and four days ago, I was sitting at a Vietnamese restaurant eating Vietnamese food and reading James Joyce, when I had an epiphany. My epiphany went:

Nobody does more with less than writers. All we have is twenty-six letters.

And this epiphany changed my life forever. I swear to God I was not on drugs when this happened. Anyway, check out how pretty the alphabet is! Oh, Alphabet. Let's spend the rest of our lives together.

Tags: epiphanies, James Joyce, Laura Jane Faulds, the alphabet, Vietnamese food

All-Time Top 5: Most Underrated Madonna Songs Ever!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MADONNA!!!

In honor of a human being so iconic she needs no explanation! Last year Liz and I shared our all-time fave Madonna moments; this year, I thought I'd share the five most underrated songs in her canon ever (IMHO), 'cause you know, Madonna has some great songs and no one ever talks about her music and how happy-making so much of it is and that upsets me. The truth of the matter is that I'd choose to listen to a Madonna song over most things any day. MADONNA, WE LOVE YOU FOREVER! XOXOXO NOGOODFORME.COM

"I'll Remember"

"I'll Remember" is oddly of one of my favorite Madonnsky songs ever. Every time I hear those opening keyboards, I get all happy, and usually keyboards never make me happy when it comes to music. "I'll Remember" is kind of a nice bridge between that whole cold arty-Erotica thing and the romantic Bedtime Stories vibe. Apparently Madonna and Patrick Leonard were going for an early 80s AOR feel when they were working on this--you know, like Boston or Foreigner or something like that. I love that.

"Forbidden Love"

This is Madonna doing her best Sade impression and it's pretty hot. One of her few true makeout songs, it's hushed and mellow and relaxed. Those are not adjectives you usually apply to Madonna, right? It makes me want to ride in white Mercedes and date a drug dealer, or something randomly Miami Vice like that.

"Causing A Commotion"

I LOVE CUTE LITTLE "WHO'S THAT GIRL" ANIMATED MADONNA! I never get tired of posting this:

"Miles Away"

It's sometimes hard to be a Madonna fan lately, what with the Kabbalah stuff and the fashion line and the whole veins thing and the weirdness that was the Hard Candy record. Still, there are always some gems even on her most throwaway albums. This track and "Devil Wouldn't Recognize You" were mine on Hard Candy. This song is so about Guy Ritchie, right? "You always love me more miles away/You're not afraid to tell me miles away"? OH MADONNA :-(

"True Blue"

I think the whole True Blue record is entirely underrated. I've been listening to it lately and it's SO GOOD. Please believe me! Me and Chloe Sevigny think so! I have superfond memories of saving up my allowance for this record and buying the cassette at Musicland and thinking I was a hot shit kid. This wasn't my favorite song on the record when it first came out, but decades later and now it is. It's just such a sweet little ditty, plus the video has a pretty fantastic color scheme and I kind of dig those back-up singers' sweaters if they'd cover my midriff. Midriff coverage is very important to me, but it was not really to Madonna back in the day. She was a midriff-showing queen! That's why she's Madonna. Her belly button was a source of power, not angst!

And just for a bonus, I think this is the most existential Madonna song ever, even more than "Live To Tell":

"Easy Ride"

You can usually count on Madonna for some fun, but fun was hard to find on American Life. But if you forget this is Madonna, this song is pretty deep. Madonna can be deep and earnest! So take that, Joni Mitchell, you Madonna hater!

Tags: Happy Birthday Madonna, Madonna, True Blue is a genius record, underrated songs

WHICH PATH WILL YOU CHOOSE?

(via clair_voyant's photostream, which also has really cool ads for Kotex and The Draft Resistance)

Tags: taking the Bad Literature path

Snapshot: Listening, Watching, Reading, Wearing, Wanting

+ Kat

Listening: Frida Hyvonen, new songs from the new Walkmen, that new Kanye West song with Beyonce.
Watching: I bet someone is going to make me see that Scott Pilgrim movie this weekend. Also, there is a television in my sublet and I can't believe that I watch "Lopez Tonight" sometimes. Those karaoke-singing wrestlers!
Reading: You know, I actually have been working like a dog this week and haven't read much of anything! WHAT?!!!!
Wearing: There is a rare break in the relentless heat and humidity that is NYC Summer 2010, so I'm wearing skinny jeans from Uniqlo and an old Depeche Mode t-shirt. CAN'T WAIT FOR FALL CLOTHES!!!! I went to my storage space to retrieve an old laptop and I saw a bag full of boots and jackets and other beautiful autumnal clothing and I got SO EXCITED.
Wanting: <3 TO EVERYONE.

I like him so much, but why can I not see Michael Cera as a viable sexual entity?

+ Liz

Listening: "Can We Still Be Friends?" by Todd Rundgren, "Spin It On" by Wings, Van Halen, Sonic Youth
Watching: on a redeye Tuesday night I paid five dollars for four episodes from season six of Sex and the City: the one where Big has heart surgery, the one where Carrie meets The Russian, the one where Blair Underwood is all weird to Miranda in the hallway, and the one where Samantha finds out she has breast cancer. Also: clips of James Franco as "Franco" on General Hospital, Mad Men.
Reading: that New York profile of James Franco, the Bill Clinton issue of Esquire; rereading A Complicated Kindness
Wearing: this really cool shirt about Glendale. It's a wifebeater with neon-green typeface and a creepy/stupid eagle.
Wanting: that disease James Franco has where he does 8 zillion things at the same time and is good at lots of them

James Franco on General Hospital. I like when he says: "I'm going to pretend that that self-pitying drivel didn't just emerge from your lovely mouth," cuz it totally sounds like something I'd say.

+ Laura Jane

Listening: The first and last three songs on Here Come The Warm Jets by Brian Eno
Watching: Mad Men: I was really enjoying Lane and Don's friendship date, until Lane did that awful thing with the steak. That was gross. But I'm glad they're friends now.
Reading: A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man by James Joyce
Wearing: Jean shorts, red plaid flannel, Bernhard Willhelm x Camper sandals
Wanting: To win 50 million dollars in the lottery today! I really, really want that!

JAMES JOYCE IRL:

PS ALSO HERE IS THE TRAILER FOR THE NEW SERGE GAINSBOURG BIOPIC:

I took that from Cat Party. Also, don't you think it's weird that Serge Gainsbourg changed his name from Lucien to Serge? Lucien's way hotter.

Tags: Brian Eno, eagles, James Franco, James Joyce, Mad Men, Michael Cera, Serge Gainsbourg, Sex and the City, Todd Rundgren

Random Picture Entry: Jane Fonda & Her Beethoven Sweatshirt

+ Continue reading "Random Picture Entry: Jane Fonda & Her Beethoven Sweatshirt"

Tags: Beethoven, Jane Fonda, Tumblrs we love

Heavy Rotation: Blonde Redhead, Broken Bells, Lou Reed, Milla Jovovich & The MDH Band

Blonde Redhead, "Here Sometimes"

This is the new Blonde Redhead song! It's from their upcoming album, which will be called Penny Sparkle and is coming out in September. I'm predicting more and more dark prettiness overall--I daresay their music is getting more and more gauzier as they move farther from their (post-)punkier days of yore. Though I miss the squall of a record like In An Expression of the Inexpressible, there's something that feels increasingly lovely and lived-in with each record they put out. I like the electro nature of this track a lot, though it was a little surprising at first and at first I ignored it because, well, there are Danzig records to be listened to in July. But then last week I was taking the N train in the evening and we went over the bridge and suddenly this song opened up something fierce and it all made sense. Sometimes a song just needs a perfect moment, right? BTW, you can download the mp3 from Fader here. (Kat)

Broken Bells, "Your Head Is On Fire"
BUY THIS MP3

One of the musical surprises of my summer is how steathily the Broken Bells record has insinuated itself as a constant headphones staple for me. There's a complex theory to be made that Danger Mouse is like the Switzerland of music or something, able to bridge all kinds of music-ness into a beautiful land of geeky cool, but I'm not going to make it here. It's just amazing that he's made me able to like something remotely Shins-related. Give the dude a musical Nobel Peace Prize! (Kat)

Lou Reed, "Tarbelly and Featherfoot"
BUY THIS MP3

I was going to start reading Never Let Me Go by Kazuo Ishiguro but then I got to page 14 and realized all I ever want to do is read A Complicated Kindness by Miriam Toews over and over and over again, forever. The narrator's Nomi NIckel and she's a 16-year-old Canadian Mennonite and maybe my favorite fictional girl ever, a zillion times cooler than her big sister Tash who writes Patti Smith lyrics on her bedroom walls and pierces her own ears with a needle and a potato and runs away with a boy named Ian who wears eyeliner ("Tash had shown him how to put it on really thick so that it highlighted his pupils and made him look dead. He liked napes, which he compared to vaginas. He told me what mitosis was. I loved the way his voice sounded when he said: Two daughter cells. I loved the way he took my sister's hand like he was sure she'd let him. He had wet brown eyes, really long arms, and a slight underbite like Keith Richards'. He once gave me five bucks to go away.").

My only quarrel with Nomi is she loves Lou Reed. I feel like Nomi could do a hell of a lot better than Lou Reed, but maybe I'm biased cuz Lou Reed mostly just leaves me cold. "Tarbelly and Featherfoot" is a Victoria Williams song but it's the Lou Reed song I most wish belonged to Nomi Nickel. I really hope Nomi finds someone to be the Featherfoot to her Tarbelly. (Liz)

Milla Jovovich and the MDH Band, "Satellite of Love"
BUY AN MP3 OF THE LOU REED VERSION, WHY DON'T YOU?

Also I love "Satellite of Love," partly because when I hear it I just see Ewan McGregor lip-synching the "bom bom bom" part while riding in a magic space car. Laura put this cover on a mixtape for me like ten years or ago or something. The MDH Band = Bono and Brian Eno and Daniel Lanois and a few other dudes like that. (Liz)

Tags: Blonde Redhead, bom bom bom, Broken Bells, Lou Reed, Milla Jovovich, Nomi Nickel, Victoria Williams

Random Picture Entry: Meet the Sapeurs, The Congo's Most Dapper Gentlemen Ever

Sometimes you see an image that is so indisputably elegant and riveting that you just HAVE to find out everything about it. For me recently, it was when I stumbled upon some portraits, shot by Francesco Giusti, of these incredibly-dressed dandies from Congo-Brazzaville in the World Press Photo show I went to last week. (I can't reproduce the images here, but you can peek a gander at them at the World Press Photo winners gallery. These images are culled from various sources on the Internet.)

How could you NOT look at such incredible style? The tiny little description told me these dudes were sapeurs, members of a certain style cult of high-fashion dressing in the Congo called La Societé des Ambianceurs et des Personnes Élégantes. (Aside: how amazing would it be to put down "ambianceuse" on my passport as my occupation one day!) SAPE, as it's known by, emerged in the 1960s when Congolese would visit Paris and come back to Africa with the latest styles. According to the description, hardcore sapeurs apparently would save up money (for years, in some cases) in order to buy high fashion from the likes of Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Prada, Versace and the like. These stylin' dudes often became local celebrities because of their flair for fashion, and would even make appearances at weddings and funerals to lend an air of elegance and glamour to the proceedings. That's all that the caption stated, but judging from the richness of the images (and knowing this was Africa, one of the most geopolitically complex continents EVER--to completely understate it), I knew there was more to the story.

+ Continue reading "Random Picture Entry: Meet the Sapeurs, The Congo's Most Dapper Gentlemen Ever"

Tags: Africa, better than the Sartorialist, Congo, haute couture, La Societé des Ambianceurs et des Personnes Élégantes, sapeurs

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OUR LAST FEW ENTRIES

+ Heavy Rotation: R.E.M., Junip feat. Jose Gonzalez, The Doors, INXS, More Gems from the Wu-Tang/Beatles Mash-up
+ nogoodforme ix: Beloved Odes to Female Independence
+ Heavy Rotation: D.Lissvik, The Replacements, Patti Smith, Them, Jill & the Boulevards, Margo Guryan
+ Heavy Rotation: Studio, This Heat, Mike Watt, The Replacements, Utopia, The Rutles
+ Heavy Rotation: Scientist, Swell Maps, Guns N' Roses, Jeannie C. Riley, Wu-Tang Clan & the Beatles, The New Seekers
+ Heavy Rotation: The Lemonheads, Glen Campbell, Fredrik, Fever Ray, The Pleasure Seekers, 13th Floor Elevators
+ Heavy Rotation: Madonna, Twilight Singers, Ringo Starr, Dr. Hook, Paul McCartney, The Zombies
+ Heavy Rotation, Special Edition: Beatles Songs That Meant The Most To Liz & LJ In 2009
+ Heavy Rotation, Special Holiday Edition: Christmas Songs From Lee Scratch Perry, Yellowman, The Beatles, Kay Martin & Her Body Guards, Pink Floyd, and The Beatles!
+ Heavy Rotation: The Notwist, Broadcast, No Age, U2, THE Pink Floyd, Ann Peebles
+ Heavy Rotation, Special Edition: Songs For When You Wanna Feel Sorry For Yourself
+ Heavy Rotation: Syd Barrett, George Harrison, The Beatles, Rye Coalition
+ Heavy Rotation: Moderat, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Helium, Dee Dee Sharp, Serge Gainsbourg, Pete Townshend
+ Heavy Rotation: D.A.F., Beach House, Califone, Van Halen, Gong, The End
+ Heavy Rotation: Slant 6, Nitzer Ebb, Young and Restless, White Magic, ELO, Curt Boettcher

OLD SCHOOL

+ Listing of all entries
+ Read entries from May 19 - June 13, 2003