It was his birthday on Monday, actually. Here are 19 reasons why he’s my favorite:
1. As stated above, I like his band best. No one ever believes me. Probably my gravestone will read: “YES THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS REALLY ARE MY FAVORITE BAND – why do you keep trying to talk me out of it? Just because you’re an elitist prig doesn’t mean I have to be, okay? What do you think my favorite band should be – Nirvana or something? Ewww. Stop being so limited in your thinking! It’s crushing my soul kinda. Love, Elizabeth Barker.”
2. I think he’s so pretty! I’m hypnotized by his teeth.
3. the joie de vivre thing
4. OMG he’s always supernice whenever I see him around town!! Not that I ever talk to him. But he’s so nice to everybody else; he seems to be impeccably mannered. THAT IS SO HOT TO ME.
5. He picks weird words and I find that so endlessly bemusing, in a sweet way. Like, the other day I almost wrote the word paradoxicalness and then I was all “Don’t Anthony it up; you can just write paradox,” and it was a funny moment for me. I think it’s neat that Anthony would’ve picked paradoxicalness.
6. the lisp! Oh the lisp.
7. It’s endearing when he sings self-effacing lyrics about being a crazy-ass Scorpio.
8. Also, I appreciate his fondness for really dated expressions like Jeez Louise! and warms the cockles of my heart and popinjay.
9. the time I saw the Chili Peppers at the Hollywood Palladium and John kept throwing temper tantrums and marching off the stage and Anthony took his guitar and he and Flea played “Dazed and Confused” and then did stand-up comedy – sooooo funny, guys!
10. the cuteness of him and Flea, their BFFhood
11. In the new book The Red Hot Chili Peppers, there’s this story about the time Tony Bennett complimented him on his singing and Anthony was all taken aback and tells the reader “All I’d ever hear about me was that I was useless,” and then I went “Awwwww!” and petted his face a little. I mean, probably he’s exaggerating. Probably at some point, somebody’s said something besides “You’re useless, Anthony!” But it must be rough, always hearing you’re the weakest link, always dealing with shit like this stupid Slate article that several dudes have emailed to me in my life and I hate it. It’s true; he’s not the best singer, and some of the lyrics are kinda boneheaded. But for the most part I like his singing, I love his lyrics. Lyrics about boomerangs and bougainvillea and Bruce Springsteen are all right with me.
12. Speaking of Tony Bennett, that was cool when Anthony and Flea and Tony Bennett presented Video of the Year at the 1993 MTV awards and Anthony deep-throated a banana and then kissed all the Pearl Jam boys on the mouth.
13. He’s so vain! I identify with that.
14. Blood Sugar Sex Magik is the first album that was my world. But it’s not my favorite album anymore. My favorite album is Stadium Arcadium, because it’s the longest. The best is By The Way.
15. I think it’s cool that he has a wolf.
16. I think it’s cool that he named his son after a band and an animal. If I had son tomorrow, I’d name him Beatle Cat.
17. I think it’s cool that he’s the only person who loves Los Angeles as much as I do. Besides Vanessa, I mean.
18. Hi, thanks for giving my adolescent self really warped ideas about masculinity and falsely promising me that the world would be absolutely chockablock with maniacally confident dudes who run around giving each other piggyback rides while wearing weird hats and listening to Fela Kuti all the livelong day. That’s actually not what life is like. BOO.
19. BUT SRSLY: Thanks for being my 10th-grade boyfriend, and for telling me to buy records by Neil Young and Funkadelic and to care about astrology and hang out at Canter’s and learn to surf, and for imprinting me with the enduring belief that it’s so cool and wild to habitually indulge in goofball/wannabe-childlike expression of my love for the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky. I do that because I’m me. So thanks for helping me to be me. Thank you for being. Happy Birthday, Anthony!
The Beatles? I think your favourite band should be the Beatles?
I like this blog post though. He’s cooler to me now than he was before I read it.
at the end of the day, the beatles aren’t really ‘a band’ to me. they can be my favorite celestial entity if they want
glad you liked it!
I like Anthony’s singing, when he’s not flat. When I saw RHCP in 2004 (at the Bridge School benefit, coincidentally both Tony Bennett and Paul McCartney played too), Anthony was the only singer that day who was woefully flat during his entire set. But I forgave him for it because their cover of “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by the Looking Glass was awesome, and also because the same thing (singing flat during an entire set) happened to me too. It sucked. It was just a bad night, exacerbated by the death of my grandmother, an unsympathetic gf, and having just walked off a plane not even a couple of hours before my set. Maybe the same thing happened to Anthony too. Some day I’ll catch him on a better night.
Great post, lots of love here. ‘Tis a fine antidote to the general misanthropy I’ve been feeling all week.
thanks, mike! i am envious about the ‘brandy’ cover. for the record, i’ve never seen the chili peppers and not been depressed by the experience. it’s not their fault though.
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Yes! I just saw this today.
Thanks for finally writing a post about RHCP, Liz. Though I still think we shoulda tried to tie it to “Magic Johnson” and the Lakers’ run to the championship this summer. :p
someday, mason. someday.
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