WELCOME TO MY FUCKING MONTENEGRO STYLE
I don’t care about celebrity progeny. I don’t care if Celeb A + Celeb B = Celeb-Baby C. I have about ten other things I’d rather be occupied by, like why Bath and Body Works makes all their fragrances so damn vanilla-y or will Andrew Garfield make a decent Spiderman or I should set my novel to one year later so my protagonist and her major crush can make out to My Bloody Valentine? So many things occupy my mind! So I was a little puzzled when someone (i.e., my most punk rock dude sweetheart-friend ever, who I never expected would know about this stuff) asked me about Shiloh’s “Montenegro style.” At first I looked at him, spoonful of vegan lentil stew poised in front of my dumbly open mouth, like “Who the fuck is this bitch Shiloh?” (I was in a bad mood, maybe because we paid a lot of money for that vegan lentil stew and it sucked mega-ass.) And then a few seconds later I remembered Shiloh was the spawn of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, and then I felt bad for thinking profanity within the mental proximity of an innocent child. And then I had the real proper thought germane to this writing, which was “Wait, what the fuck is Montenegro style?” This bothered me more than not knowing who Shiloh was immediately, because I HATE not knowing things, especially dumb things like Montenegro style.
Which apparently is Shiloh Jolie-Pitt’s fashion concept as a toddler. I Googled “Montenegro style” and then “Shiloh” and apparently “people” give Angelina Jolie a hard time for letting Shiloh dress like a preppy tomboy, which Ms. Jolie christened “Montenegro style” in a Vanity Fair interview. This confused a lot of people, particularly a lot of fashion people, who bent over backwards trying to figure out what the fuck “Montenegro style” was. (“Quick! Send the Sartorialist to Montenegro to take a bunch of pictures of old dudes wearing suits!”) But then I got upset, because I read stuff that ranked on Shiloh’s way of dressing and called it all kinds of not-kind, really truly judge-y things, which were not really cool at all. Lay off the kid, assholes, and let her dress the way she wants! And then I lost interest in “Montenegro style” and just Googled “Montenegro,” and now I really want to go, because it seems like a very lovely country and I’d like to say that I’ve seen the Adriatic Sea.
All of which is to say that “Montenegro style” really means very little, but lately I like to say “Montenegro style” like it does. It kind of fucks with people, because (1) people rarely know where or what Montenegro is and (2) NO ONE really knows what Montenegro style is about. Which means (3) it can mean anything you want it to be! It’s what you say when you don’t want to define a style or don’t really have a style but want to imply a presence of style. You know, like when you want to wear something just because and people gonna hate ’cause they be haters and you just want to make them feel DUMB for hating? So you can say, “Don’t like my radiant orange ascot? It’s Montenegro style, bitches!” “Think I dress boring, fascist fashion bulletin board twits? You just don’t get my Montenegro style!” Or, “That weird dress Leighton Meester wore to some big fashion-y event? Total Montenegro style — but haters gonna hate, so what can you do?” (P.S. I love when Leighton Meester dresses genuine bananas for big fashion events.) This fall 2010, my style is Montenegro style because I haven’t really bought anything new all season except for some underwear, a poncho, and another pair of my favorite jeans. (Uniqlo straight skinny, $20 — that’s some major Montenegro style right there.) Weird, but these days I just like the clothes that I have and don’t really feel the need to add more shit to my life. And I do favor a kind of indie tomboy thing, I guess, which makes me sartorially-spiritually akin to a Brangelina toddler. So goes my style fate. Anyway: here is a small selection of my favorite clothes for fall, which were my favorites last year and will probably be my favorites next year. MONTENEGRO STYLE, BITCHES! (Kat)
(top to bottom): I freaking love this hoodie, it is the softest and happiest-making thing I have ever owned, Rebel Yell were dolls to send this to me ages upon ages ago; ’tis a pity you can’t see the muted floral pattern on this eyelet Marc by Marc Jacobs top, ’cause it’s lovely. But you can see I’m “working” the sleeve, which has some dope intricate detailing; blurry, but you can still see the poncho I bought at H&M after about nine months of non-shopping at H&M. Also: favorite Uniqlo jeans and my combat boots. You can’t tell but I’m sweating bullets b/c it’s like 84 degrees outside. FALL, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?
SALLY’S MOM
I’m lying; “Sally’s Mom” isn’t my personal fashion concept for Fall 2010. Probably this fall I’ll mostly wear my blacker-than-black skinny jeans + tank top or t-shirt + plaid flannel + cowboy boots + faux silver jewelry + big hair + black eyeliner, aka Slutty Neil Young Meets Generic Bruce Springsteen Girlfriend, or something. All of that has nothing to do with Sally’s mom, a cool statuesque woman who’s both dead and imaginary and who fancies beautiful dresses much like the ones you’ll find below.
I’m talking about the book, by the way.
(from Dandelion Daydreamer)
(from Mama Stone Vintage)
(from Pampered Peacock Vintage)
(from Dirty Birdy Vintage)
P.S. I just bought the Dirty Birdy dress, and justified it by telling myself “If I buy the Dirty Birdy dress, I can add a P.S. saying ‘I just bought the Dirty Birdy dress’ and then put my byline after that, which will look a lot better than putting the ‘(Liz)’ after the ‘(from Dirty Birdy Vintage).’ It was a smart move. (Liz)
LAURA JANE= “AVANT-YUPPIE”
(Vintage faux fur hat; asymmetrical black dress from Creatures of Comfort; drugstore eyeliner; Starbucks coffee)
I spent most of my recent trip to Montreal complaining to myself and others about its startling lack of Starbucks, and I was serious. I was unsettled by how this giant chunk of my life (the “going to Starbucks” part) was suddenly gone, like as if I had showed up in Montreal and learned that people didn’t use toilet paper there, or it was illegal to have dogs. “Am I a yuppie?” I wondered, “It seems like I must be. There is no way on Earth that anybody who cares this much about Starbucks could not be a yuppie.”
“That’s weird,” I thought, “I really didn’t think I was a yuppie.”
But then, walking home drunk the next night and yelling down the Starbucksless streets about how yuppie shit makes me feel really “safe,” I realized that I’m actually an “avant-yuppie,” which essentially means that you are avant-garde, but with distinctly yuppie undertones and preferences. Most people I know are avant-yuppies; actually, I think it’s a really great alternative to the word “hipster,” the ubiquity of which all the hipsters I know, myself included, seem to be collectively growing more and more exasperated by.
Spending time in Montreal taught me an important lesson in loving Toronto and embracing the comfort I derive from its “balls to the wall” yuppieness. Montreal’s lack of yuppieness scared me. It also made me feel like I was a bigger yuppie than I actually am. I have a Blackberry, and never shut up about Starbucks for my entire trip. That is some seriously yuppie behavior on my end, and Montreal really called a lot of attention to it, which was confusing for me, and misrepresentative. In Toronto, I’m totally punk rock. In Toronto, everybody has Blackberries and goes to Starbucks. In fact, I have the shittiest phone of anybody I know, in Toronto. Most of my friends have iPhones, or better Blackberries than mine. I have the worst available Blackberry on the market. What I’m getting at is that I’d rather be the least-yuppie person in a hardcore yuppie situation than the hugest yuppie in a non-yuppie situation.
I noticed the other day that even my hero John Lennon was totally avant-yuppie. He was all “Damn the man” and revolutionized pop music and shit, but then at the same time he lived in a really chichi apartment, and ate tons of brown rice. Eating tons of brown rice is about as avant-yuppie as it gets. Same with drinking liquor out of an Evian bottle.
My asymmetrical black dress from Creatures of Comfort is hugely emblematic of my avant-yuppieness. It’s avant-garde because it’s avant-garde (A note from my Avant-Garde Primer: If it’s asymmetrical, it’s avant-garde), but it was also really expensive, and I bought if off the Internet with my Mommy’s credit card. I told her I’d pay her back for half of it, but then I never did, which was so freaking yuppie of me. But then, I write all this crazy writing all the time. Writing crazy writing all the time? Totally avant-.
All in all: how sick is my hat? I think it makes me look a rock star. Every time I wear it, I make this joke that goes, “I’m not a rock star, but I totally look like one.” That’s my other big Fall Fashion Concept this year. (Laura Jane)
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Tags: asymmetry, avant-garde, avant-yuppie, brown rice, Bruce Springsteen, dresses, hoodies, John Lennon, Kat Asharya, Laura Jane Faulds, Liz Barker, Marc by Marc Jacobs, Montenegro style, Montreal vs. Toronto, Neil Young, ponchos, Sally, Sally's mom, Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, Starbucks, Uniqlo, yuppieness
Laura your eyeliner is amaaaaaaaaazing & I love the first picture of you in the hallway, it’s so romantic & mysterious & magic. & really timeless, that’s what it is. & placeless. Lately I find my favorite things timeless & placeless, that’s the best. I really love your “other” big fall fashion concept. It’s the coolest.
Oh I also wanted to say to Kat totally move the year in your novel it would so be worth it. Unless that would change a whole slew of things…
a change in years wouldn’t alter too much. luckily for my novel, satanic panic is eternal!
xo k.
we’re weird.
p.s. KAT I LOVE YOUR HOODIE & HOODIE ADORNMENTS!!!
thanks, bro! it is totally a liz barker hoodie! best hoodie that ever existed…xo k.
Kat-I googled Montenegro also! Angelina doesn’t know what the fuck she is talking about. But I’m obsessed with everything Shiloh Jolie-Pitt, she is my fashion icon.
Laura-When I went to France/Spain this summer I quickly realized that there are very, very few Starbucks and obviously I complained about the whole time. So on top of being a total fucking yuppie I was a dumb american yuppie who can’t stop talking about Starbucks. There were amazing coffee shops everywhere but Europeans have yet to embrace the concept of iced coffee and I can’t get down with regular coffee in 90 degree weather. Oddly enough, I finally found a Starbucks in Versailles where I got shitty lukewarm iced coffee but it was still sort of satisfying. But anyway, I really love your outfit, the hat kills!
shiloh jolie-pitt does dress great. i’m glad she’s a tomboy. xo k.
Kat, i’m all sorts of confused over ‘Montenegro’ style.
my dad is from Montenegro and we visit Kotor yearly.
i understand you’re (presumedly?) subversively mocking Angelina’s absurd multiculturalist ways but i’m still undecided how i feel about this. isn’t this really not that far from the notorious ‘ethnic fashion’ concept? it really irks me.
p.s. From what i could tell, and how their closest neighbors see them, Montenegro ‘style’ is between what is known as ‘euro trash’ in US and tracksuits.
i’m definitely mocking it. and just the idea of a ‘style’ in general, and that a celebrity can just say something is a ‘style’ and suddenly it ‘is.’ it’s as empty of a phrase as “american style” or, as you point out, “ethnic style.”
and of course, i’m being extremely sarcastic. fashion stuff seems to bring that out in me.
xo k.
Ahhh you guys are so awesome. This is making me wonder what I should label my fall fashion concept–I quite like the way I’m dressing currently, but I’m having a hard time cleverly labeling it. Twee/badass schoolgirl, or something.
Also, this might be weird NGFM lately reminds me a lot of NGFM circa a year ago, and I like that a lot.
Clara I always really like what you have to say & totally want to see your twee/badass schoolgirl fall fashion concept. I wish your name linked to a blog!
Liina, you are too lovely! No, I don’t have a blog, but I do make zines and I’d love to send you one!
Anyway. My outfits involve a lot of colored tights and socks, bows in my hair (either the clip-in variety or scarves tied as bows), various old lady-ish skirts, same old jeans, oxfords, klassy sweaters, dresses in weird prints, my boyfriend’s black cap, and Docs. Punk rock rainbow-brite schoolgirl, I’d say (the punk rock part for the jeans and Docs).
Clara, I would so love a zine. May I send you my address? If you would prefer not to post your email, mine is sugar_lobotomy@hotmail.com (ha ha I made up that name a long time ago…). NEAT!! I want to dress like you.
I think Angelina can say whatever she wants if it gets the fucking media/dumbbitchfashion police off her kids [well clothed] back. And you know what? In a show of solidarity for the po’ kid, I’ve got Montenegro style too!
My fashion concept this winter is going to vary between three identities, because I let the thrift shopping guide me, not the other way around.
Concept 1: Being a boy. Loose button downs, tucked in to jeans. Leather lace-ups. No makeup, because I am lazy and not really concerned about my acne. Hair: scraggly.
Concept 2: Wearing black. This will swing between goth-lite and totally rock. EYELINER, inspired by Laura Jane/the reality of Liz’s style.
Concept 3: GLAM ROCK. Leopard, plaid, sequins. All at once. I’m very excited about this. Right now I’m looking for a union jack miniskirt. I’m sure my concept of glam is totally off, but SPIRITUALLY, I’ll be so Bowie, so androgyny.
all these fashion concepts sound amazeballs to me. i pretty much rock #1 and #2 on a regular basis myself.
and yeah, duuuuuude, i could not believe all the shit people say about shiloh dressing like a lil’ dude. it was like i stumbled upon the mordor of the fashion/mommy blogosphoere. she’s a freakin’ toddler!!!! leave her alone!
xo k.
Thanks Chelsea, Thanks Liina. I was going for timeless.
My eyeliner is inspired by Cher in 1965.
dudes, I love all your style. I think Shiloh Jolie-Pitt dresses really well and why can’t she dress like a damn tomboy if that’s what makes her happy. Liz, I love all the dresses and am glad you bought one. How great is the name Dirty Birdy Vintage? Kat, your pictures are super pretty. And LJ, the hat, oh my god, I love the hat. Also, the term avant-yuppie is fabulous. My fashion concept this fall is vintage collegiate style. Both students and professors are influencing me, but basically it’s all about sweaters and tweed, and back to school vibes. Which is great, because I’m not even in school!
yeah, like i said, it was genuinely shocking to me to read some super judgy things on shiloh’s style and, by default, brangelina’s parenting. she’s a child! if she wants to wear an astronaut suit to lycee francais, let her!
and thank you so much for the kind words! i think your fashion concept sounds awesome, it makes me think a bit of ali macgraw in love story and those pictures of the japanese preppy aesthetic in the new york times a few years ago. i went through a kind of student-y thing in my last year of grad school…it was like i didn’t want to let go of school and was holding on like crazy to the part of me that loves being a student.
also: i think it would be beautiful if people posted pics of their fall fashion concept on our facebook wall. i would totally “LIKE” it.
xo k.
Looks like I’m moving to Montenegro!
http://montestate.net/offer/images/stories/cg%20gradovi/montenegro.jpg
i want to go!! adriatic sea! xo k.
[...] A Day in the Life: Dopest Shit We’ll Wear This Fall [...]
the hat is fab, lj – and that dress! that dress! I wants it.
my fall fashion concept is this: wear clothes that I love. for some reason, sometimes I wear stuff that I think is just ok – but nothing really special. I would like for that to end. I would also like to not dive too deeply into psychological reasons having to do with self-esteem to find out why, but instead take practical action: one of the reasons I don’t always dress in stuff that I really like is because my clothes are divided between my place and my boyfriend’s place. the scrambled-together-outfit takes place more often than I’d like it to. so. I’ll stand before my closet, weed out all the just-ok-clothes, and after that, pick out a bunch of stuff that intuitively goes together (trying to avoid the term ‘capsule wardrobe’ here) and move these clothes over to my boyfriend’s place. after this: trust my instinct when I get dressed.
THIS POST ROCKS. Y’all are amazing!
My fall fashion concept is the same as anne b.’s: wear clothes that I love. I don’t own a ton of clothes that I love, and some of the clothes I love don’t fit me right now, and some of the clothes I love are still in stores because I can’t afford them/don’t want to spend funds on clothes. I do, however, love my straight-leg jeans and knee-high socks and of course I’m loving all my v-neck sweaters and thin tank tops; I’m also re-loving my topsiders and these cheap barrettes I’ve been wearing to keep my hair “down but back” per the advice of my hairdresser at SuperCuts (she frowns on my use of hair elastics, ponytails and buns). I am planning to buy a new pair of corduroys and also a dress for an upcoming wedding. While looking for said dress, I happened upon a pair of Stuart Weitzman gray flannel shoes with a shiny wooden heel and OH HOW I WANTED THEM but they cost $325 which is more than I plan to spend on clothes for the entire school year, so.
Is ngfm planning to do a post about thrift store shopping for guys, as Mason requested? My boyfriend would be totally into that. Speaking (writing) of thrift stores, I was stopped on the street the other day by a large, Eastern-European looking woman who asked me if I could tell her where the store Good Wheels was, and I said, umm, do you mean Ace Wheelworks, for bikes? and she shook her head sadly and said, no no, for clothes, and I was like, ummmm…and then it suddenly dawned on me that she wanted Goodwill! I’m such a accented-speech dumb-o. So I gave her excellent directions and hope she found many wonderful things there.
Also, I love L.J.’s dress and hat and Kat’s hoodie and boots and of course Liz’s new dress.
awww, thanks sarah! xo k.
Combat boots? Dear god. Tweenage Delias crap.
no, not delias, salvation army circa ’93 when i got them the first time around as a teen myself. but i am admittedly psyched by the idea of tweens wearing combat boots! xo k.